Elizabeth Ministry aids new mothers, pregnant women

They are women who have experienced the incomparable pain of losing a child, the exquisite joy of giving birth to a baby, of being a mom.

Women who have learned that what they do as mothers places them in sacred space, affirmed and made stronger when they live out their experiences together.

They are women who have discovered Elizabeth Ministry, an international outreach program modeled after the biblical story of two mothers, Mary and Elizabeth, who supported each other in times of need.

The parish-based ministry is designed to involve mothers in networking to support one another through personal visits, prayers, telephone calls and family support services. Members are typically paired according to common experiences and needs such as birth, pregnancy, miscarriage, a child’s death, adoption, fertility and infertility.

“It’s a program very much based on the sanctity of life from conception forward,” said Nancy Milton, pastoral care and safe environment coordinator for the Sacramento Diocese. “It strengthens families and builds community within the church.”

Milton first learned about Elizabeth Ministry a few years ago while reading a parish bulletin in Mass at a rural parish during a family trip to Pennsylvania. The ministry seemed a perfect match for her own parish, Good Shepherd in Elk Grove.

“We’re a lot of young families and we’re growing in leaps and bounds, so we really needed the ministry,” said Milton, who explained that the need is amplified by the fact that women are no longer home as much, talking over the fence to neighbors, and most extended families are scattered geographically.

She said her own personal experience of having two miscarriages between the births of two of her three children and dealing with post-partum depression following the birth of her three-year-old led to a conviction that “God was telling me, ‘You need to do this ministry.’”

Her pastor at the time, Father Philip Wells, gave her the green light and the parish ministry was started in September 2001. Instructional materials were purchased from the Elizabeth Ministry Web site and notices placed in the parish bulletin, and soon a ministry of a few grew to include more than 30 members.

Beth Thayer, current coordinator of the parish’s Elizabeth Ministry, signed on immediately.

“I thought I’m a mother. Here’s a ministry of mothers helping mothers. This is right up my alley,” she said.

About six weeks ago Thayer learned about Maria Calderon-Romero, a member of Good Shepherd who had prematurely delivered triplets on Jan. 15. Calderon-Romero calls the triplets, Michael Reuben, Elizabeth Maria Rosa, and Reuben Luis, her “miracle babies.”

First there were life-threatening complications during her pregnancy, and then following delivery, the discovery that Reuben Luis, born weighing four pounds, one ounce, would require open heart surgery to survive. Then just before surgery little Reuben contracted pneumonia.

It was at this critical moment that Elizabeth Ministry entered Calderon-Romero’s life. She received a phone call from Thayer, asking if there was anything the women’s support group could do to help.

“It opened a whole world to me,” said Calderon-Romero, who explained that since joining Good Shepherd a year ago health issues had limited her ability to attend Mass.

Twice a week Elizabeth ministers help out during the feedings of two babies while Reuben Luis remains in the hospital, and there are frequent calls from parishioners to see how Reuben Luis is doing.

“I’m able to talk to someone who has been a mom. It helps me deal with things differently,” Calderon-Romero said. “My circle of friends has increased.”

Many of those friends volunteer for the ministry’s “Meals for Moms” program, which began delivering meals to the family March 18.

“It’s a beautiful program because it’s building community,” said Kathy Norris, who coordinates Meals for Moms. “We have about 50 women and some men (parishioners) who are volunteer cooks.”

Norris said that over the past three years Meals for Moms has made more than 176 meals supporting mothers dealing with difficult pregnancies or during the hectic times following a baby’s birth. She said often new mothers who are recipients of the meal outreach become Elizabeth volunteers.

Such is the case with Calderon-Romero, who wants to join the ministry a few months down the line.

“God is so real,” she said of the spiritual support that has encircled her family. “We’re relying on the power of prayer.”

Elizabeth Ministry has also found a home at Presentation Parish in Sacramento, where Marie Scott and Charmaine Cooper teamed up to start the outreach program six months ago. The two friends were among those who attended a diocesan-sponsored Elizabeth Ministry training workshop held last May.

“I knew Elizabeth Ministry was something I was called to do,” said Scott, who is active in Presentation’s respect life ministry.

Eight years ago she and her husband Jerry discovered the baby they were expecting had a fatal birth defect. Their son Nathan died just four days after being born. Scott said the outpouring of love and support from parishioners at Divine Savior Parish in Orangevale where they lived at the time was incredible.

“People were there for me and the church rallied around us. I was able to know my son was at peace and I was at peace,” Scott said. “I wanted to give that back.”

Cooper, also active in respect life ministry, sees Presentation’s Elizabeth Ministry as a very natural way for women to live out their faith.

“Women have a way of helping each other heal,” said Cooper, who has three girls, one with special health problems at birth.

While the parish’s Elizabeth Ministry is still small in number, its members have grown in faith during ministry to a mom who lost her infant daughter just hours after birth. Elizabeth ministers were there for the delivery.

“The mother found so much love for her daughter in such a short time,” Cooper said. “Her baby was born an angel. For us to be present for her short life was quite remarkable.”

An Elizabeth Ministry workshop, sponsored by the diocese’s respect life office, is planned from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Oct. 30 at the Diocesan Pastoral Center. The event features a presentation by Elizabeth Ministry founder Jeannie Hannemann. For more information, call Kathy Conner at (916) 733-0140.

For more information on Elizabeth Ministry, visit the Web site at www.elizabethministry.com.

Copyright © 2004 Diocese of Sacramento - All Rights Reserved