A deaf guest at Maryhouse, Loaves & Fishes’ daytime refuge for homeless women and children in Sacramento, Helen, who was seated, had the undivided attention of the three women who encircled her.

Unable to speak, she scribbled a message on pieces of paper she was given. She had seen a poster of a missing homeless man and knew intimately what it meant to be lost and alone.

Within minutes Helen was calmed by the womens’ reassuring words, numerous hugs, and the respect with which she was treated.

One of the three women responsible for Helen’s transformation was Antoinette deVere White, a staff volunteer who is known by guests at Maryhouse as “mom,” “Sister Antoinette,” and “best friend.”

DeVere White, who lives in terror of being thought of as a “do-gooder,” simply loves her job, being part of the Maryhouse volunteer team.

“The draw here for me is the strength of the women, despite all the tragedies that are happening to them,” she said. “You get up in the morning and have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen in your day.”

A member of St. Anthony Parish in Sacramento, deVere White began in 1986 to volunteer with a group of parishioners serving lunch once a month at Loaves & Fishes. A few months later, Maryhouse opened its doors and volunteering soon became her full-time job.

“Maryhouse is a daytime oasis for people to be,” deVere White said. “These are women whose lives start out as children in foster homes, or live in abusive homes with a lifetime of trauma. Sometimes the street is all they have.”

Quick to smile with an Irish accent and disarming wit, deVere White said many Maryhouse guests, seeing her grey hair and hearing her accent, conclude she is an Irish nun.

“They are stunned to find out I’m the mother of three children,” she said. She balances time at Maryhouse with active support for the work of her husband, Dr. Ralph deVere White, director of the UC Davis Cancer Center.

The deVere Whites collaborate in supporting Maryhouse by organizing each month donations of baby formula and other needed items from parishioners at St. Anthony Parish.

DeVere White is quick to point out that the women and children who arrive at Maryhouse have few options for their lives.

Many women have mental illnesses, ranging from paranoid schizophrenia to bipolar disorder.

She found one of her newest friends on the Loaves & Fishes site wandering in circles, twice walking into traffic in front of a car.

“She was on parole and either wasn’t taking her meds or had taken the wrong ones,” said deVere White, who walked several blocks with the woman to a parole office to ensure she would be placed on 72-hour hold and hospitalized for evaluation.

Connie Frank, co-director of Maryhouse, has been working at the agency for 15 years. She said deVere White is one of the most unselfish people she has ever met.

“There’s only one of her,” said Frank, who recalled a recent incident at Maryhouse in which a guest, too frightened to get into the shower alone, was accompanied there by her unflappable volunteer. “Antoinette stops at nothing,” Frank said.

Frank said the most significant change and challenge in recent years is the alarming increase of chronically homeless women.

“When I first started here it wasn’t uncommon to have women in crisis who just became homeless for all those reasons women still become homeless -- domestic violence or because they lost their job and couldn’t pay the rent,” she said. “Now once you’ve become homeless, it’s impossible to get established in some kind of stable housing.”

One of deVere White’s many “best friends” and frequent Maryhouse guest is Patricia, 52, who has been in and out of shelters for years.

“She is large and very flamboyant, dresses with great panache and I love her to death,” said deVere White, who makes it a point to have lunch with Patricia on a regular basis.

Currently living in a board and care facility and requiring medication that is delivered twice a day, Patricia’s generous nature has occasionally put her on the wrong side of the law.

One of deVere White’s favorite stories is of receiving a call from her munificent friend just before Christmas, saying she was on her way over to drop off some Christmas gifts.

“An hour later I had a call from jail,” she said. “Patricia had been taken in for shoplifting.”

While Maryhouse has its success stories of women who are able to find jobs and a place to live, being homeless always takes a toll in sometimes subtle ways. Often a chance request for a bandage from a Maryhouse guest reveals bruises from abuse or horrific foot sores from prolonged walking in improper shoes.

One recent day a mother never before homeless arrived at Maryhouse with her children and the family’s few belongings from Sacramento’s Alkali Flat neighborhood.

“It was an abuse situation. She left, took her children, walked out and came here,” deVere White said.

Fortunately a limited number of victims of domestic violence and sexual exploitation who arrive at Maryhouse may now be referred to Sister Nora’s Place, another program of Loaves & Fishes which opened last January.

Sister Nora’s Place is a night shelter designed to provide a safe, hospitable environment for a maximum of 15 chronically homeless women. The program offers life-skill classes to prepare residents to move into stable living arrangements.

“Women appear strong out on the streets, where their only defense is that they are a tough person,” deVere White said. “What we like here is you don’t have to be that. You can be who you are.”

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