The idea is to bring together teenagers with their parents to talk about a subject that probably doesn’t rank in the top 10 among topics at the dinner table: the positive value of chastity.

But the best news about the Sacramento Diocese’s new teen chastity workshop is that it has teens and parents doing more than talking; they’re finding common ground.

The family-centered sexual abstinence workshop models the FACTS program of Portland-based Northwest Family Services, a non-profit family issues education organization. What is grabbing people’s attention is the program’s message, according to Christine Cipperly, diocesan respect life coordinator.

“Our main goal is to talk about what chastity is and how it fits into a whole life,” she said. “Instead of parents saying to kids just don’t, what they say is in our family these are the standards, this is what our family believes. That’s a very empowering thing.”

Cipperly has paired up with her daughter Zoe, a senior at Davis High School, to bring the chastity workshop to religious education and youth groups in parishes and Catholic schools.

Christine Cipperly (right), diocesan respect life coordinator, and her daughter Zoe talk with youths about secular perceptions of sexuality. Nancy Westlund/Herald photo

The mother of nine children, Cipperly has a bit of experience in relating to young people. She also brings experience gained from 14 years as AIDS program director for Yolo County Public Health.

Through connecting with teens on AIDS education and prevention, Cipperly made an important discovery. She said a significant percentage of teens not only asked for information on abstinence, “they were hungry for it.”

“It really formed my conscience around how we talk to our children about sex and sexual behavior,” she noted.

The mother-daughter team has been enthusiastically received at St. Patrick Parish in Jackson and St. John Vianney Parish in Rancho Cordova. A March 15 visit to nearly 40 teens and parents at St. John Vianney began with a refreshingly frank brainstorming session on the messages about sexuality that families receive from the secular culture.

For Kellie Hill, a member of St. John Vianney’s youth group, a key to the success of the program was opening the lines of communication between teens and their families.

“This is the first time we’ve really got into a group and talked about sex freely and were not just taught about it. It was kind of nice to be able to do that,” Hill said.

Other activities included playing an interactive “roll of the dice” game giving teens a real life experience illustrating the dangers and problems of an unchaste lifestyle.

Patrick Bowen, an eighth grader at St. John Vianney School, found discussing issues like resisting peer pressure with teen facilitator Zoe Cipperly a high point of the workshop.

“I was able to relate when she talked about her friends’ experiences and realized my friends act the same way hers do,” Bowen said. “If one of my friends were ever in trouble, I could help them.”

A program component that focuses on the teachings of the Catholic Church with regard to the role of sexuality in people’s lives encourages young people to make moral decisions to enrich the sacrament of marriage.

“God did not create sexuality as a bad thing; there was no shame in the Garden of Eden,” Christine Cipperly told teens. “But when sex is not used in an appropriate way, it can bring a lot of unhappiness and a lot of broken hearts.”

Tom Fitzgerald, who attended the workshop with his son Tim, said parent group discussions about the importance of parents delivering a clear and consistent message about premarital abstinence through role modeling is advice every parent needs to hear.

“If we as parents set standards of conduct for ourselves and our children, we’ll help them make positive decisions and understand the consequences of inappropriate decisions,” Fitzgerald said.

Carol Abrams, president of St. John Vianney’s parent’s club who has an eighth grade daughter in the parish school, said participation in the workshop not only empowers young people to make positive decisions and take charge of their lives; it lets them know a whole community of people is supporting them.

“This program lets the kids know that they’re part of this big, huge support group, that there are a multitude of parents and teachers all thinking the same thing,” Abrams said.

Several hundred miles to the north in Tahoe City, Amberly Sherman, a member of Corpus Christi Parish, is spreading the message of chastity as Western regional coordinator of the “Challenge Task Force on Chastity.”

The task force, a program of Pro-Values, a non-profit Catholic organization headquartered in Minneapolis, trains young people ages 17 to 30 to become activists in chastity education. It’s mission is to go beyond abstinence education to understanding chastity as a way of living that enriches hearts and minds, she said.

Prior to starting work with the task force, Sherman, 25, worked for two years as youth minister at Corpus Christi Parish. She also worked with young people as an elementary school teacher and youth group leader at a Catholic school near San Diego. Sherman says a love of working with young people and a passion for the church’s teaching on human sexuality led her to chastity ministry.

“I was saddened by the number of young people who had been sexually promiscuous, the brokenness I saw from sexual relationships outside of marriage,” she said. “I saw a great need for the young people of our culture to be challenged, for a new high standard to be set.”

Over the past 18 months Sherman has taken the chastity message of “Know Yourself, Respect Yourself, Better Yourself” to Catholic church groups, youth conventions, high schools and colleges from Diocese of Reno to the Archdiocese of New Orleans.

“The heart of this program is forming young people to become promoters,” Sherman said. “We’re about passing on the torch.”

Sherman hopes to collaborate with the diocese’s respect life ministry to introduce the Challenge Task Force on Chastity program to youth in the fall. During a meeting with Auxiliary Bishop Richard J. Garcia last year, Sherman proposed a program of Challenge Task Force activities that would include a youth workshop, parent education night and high school presentations.

The goal, says Sherman, is “to help form the young people in the diocese into apostles of chastity so they will have the desire to spread our message among their peers.”

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